Childhood Slipping

Today I cleared out some closets and I came across DJ’s set of wooden blocks. I started tearing and couldn’t hold back, I started to cry. He’ll never be that little again. While obvious and to be expected when living life~raising a child, it hit me very hard, that this is goodbye to his childhood. And I don’t know if I am ready to say goodbye. I so desperately want to relive a few hours of when he was 3 or 4 or 5, heck… I’ll take any age. Partly to re-experience it and partly because -damn it to hell!- my memory sucks.

I know I have to ‘say goodbye to his childhood’. The time is right. ‘Childhood’ to me, is a time of innocence [non-sexual], and lots of play. In the past month, since the dance at DJ’s school, he has become enamored with a girl, which has expressed the same in return. He is so giddy. Puppy-love. A turning point. For him and me.

He made this at Home Depot. They would have these free wood-clinics for little kids for simple toys that require sanding, glue and maybe a nail or two. Other kids painted theirs, but DJ left his bare. They had cheap plastic ribbon, which we switched out for nicer ribbon once we got home. I like old-fashioned toys… made out of wood, in their natural colors. And also liked natural items as toys~ shells, nuts, wool. I delayed as long as possible plastic toys in garish colors.

This was very cool. It is a piece of twill cloth, cut about 1½” in width and 36” long. He started with one unmarked, this was his second marked in inches. I had one as well and we would carry them around and measure things. It was a lot of fun and a great intro to measurements. Being that we home schooled I really researched for fun and interesting ways to get the point across.

I think this is soo cute. It is DJ’s chore sheet, written in his own handwriting. We used grid paper to help with the handwriting. He must have been 7 or so. We recently saw an interview with Jesse James
And he said that his dad was very strict and Jesse had to learn to be responsible at an early age, doing his own laundry at age 7, etc. The interviewer asks the most obvious question in the world, --"What did you learn from that?" “My dad’s a jerk” Jesse said jokingly.

We laughed. It makes me wonder what DJ will think of his childhood. I suppose it will be a different impression every decade. I hope he asks me one day why I did the things I did. The answer won’t be… ‘I did the best I could at that time’ which to me, always seemed like a cop-out. It is often used in therapy to deal with one's past... 'Your parents did the best they could at that time-- blah blah blah' Where's the accountability in that?

The toes are my favorite part... Maui 1994


March 27, 2005	Childhood Slipping Today I cleared out some closets and I came across DJ’s set of wooden blocks. I started tearing and couldn’t hold back, I started to cry. He’ll never be that little again. While obvious and to be expected when living life~raising a child, it hit me very hard, that this is goodbye to his childhood. And I don’t know if I am ready to say goodbye. I so desperately want to relive a few hours of when he was 3 or 4 or 5, heck… I’ll take any age. Partly to re-experience it and partly because -damn it to hell!- my memory sucks. I know I have to ‘say goodbye to his childhood’. The time is right. ‘Childhood’ to me, is a time of innocence [non-sexual], and lots of play. In the past month, since the dance at DJ’s school, he has become enamored with a girl, which has expressed the same in return. He is so giddy. Puppy-love. A turning point. For him and me. He made this at Home Depot. They would have these free wood-clinics for little kids for simple toys that require sanding, glue and maybe a nail or two. Other kids painted theirs, but DJ left his bare. They had cheap plastic ribbon, which we switched out for nicer ribbon once we got home. I like old-fashioned toys… made out of wood, in their natural colors. And also liked natural items as toys~ shells, nuts, wool. I delayed as long as possible plastic toys in garish colors. This was very cool. It is a piece of twill cloth, cut about 1½” in width and 36” long. He started with one unmarked, this was his second marked in inches. I had one as well and we would carry them around and measure things. It was a lot of fun and a great intro to measurements. Being that we home schooled I really researched for fun and interesting ways to get the point across. I think this is soo cute. It is DJ’s chore sheet, written in his own handwriting. We used grid paper to help with the handwriting. He must have been 7 or so. We recently saw an interview with Jesse James And he said that his dad was very strict and Jesse had to learn to be responsible at an early age, doing his own laundry at age 7, etc. The interviewer asks the most obvious question in the world, --"What did you learn from that?" “My dad’s a jerk” Jesse said jokingly. We laughed. It makes me wonder what DJ will think of his childhood. I suppose it will be a different impression every decade. I hope he asks me one day why I did the things I did. The answer won’t be… ‘I did the best I could at that time’ which to me, always seemed like a cop-out. It is often used in therapy to deal with one's past... 'Your parents did the best they could at that time-- blah blah blah' Where's the accountability in that? The toes are my favorite part... Maui 1994
	© 2005 JoyJoyCafe