I say it again... One Day At a Time...

Tonight I did another session with the American Cancer Society's Look Good Feel Better program.
I usually leave these sessions feeling good. You know, facilitate a little band-aid fun.
Tonight I left feeling sad, a big contrast from last months. [10 women, like a party]
There were only 4 women with cancer tonight. One, a single mom, brought her two sons who read in the outside room. Another brought her daughter as she spoke mostly Farsi. Another brought her little lap dog and another brought two friends.

Three of the women were in the early stages of chemo. We talked about preparing for hair loss. At the end we tried on wigs for fun.

I could see silent tears here and there. Some professed their depression over their situation. We talked about how support groups can really help.

The one that sticks in my mind is the older woman with her dog. She was very clear on the fact that she did not want to die and that she was determined to outlive her dog. While not a final prognosis, she still has more tests… She was told that her cancer might be INOPERABLE.

I think I am stuck on that word. I remember a number of years ago the word ‘cancer’ was whispered… lest you get it! People were scared of that word. Up until recently in Japan, doctors would not tell their patients that they had cancer as that was as good as a death sentence.

Things have changed. People are less shy now about cancer. They will tell you their story or the story of someone close to them. Advances in the medical field have changed things as well. Your doctor will give you survival statistics of with or without chemo/radiation after a lump-of-sorts removal surgery. You chose whether or not you want it. While the side effects can truly suck, you get better, you get to live.

I would have to say the word that scares me is INOPERABLE. What happens if you have cancer and there is nothing they can do? And you want to live? What if your combination of fluids, chemicals, fluids, exposure, history, genetics, came up with cancer that was determined to survive at your cost? That’s what this woman was facing and I can’t help but think how does one face such a thing?

Life. With it’s past and future. It all comes down to moment by moment and how one lives them.