Words

Words to avoid using when raising a child:
God
Should
Church
Pray
Shame
Guilt
Please
Try
Hope
Luck
Nice

As in... Shall we try to go to that nice church to pray to god with hope that we should be so lucky as to not feel any shame? Please guilt me into going.

Words I did not ever want to explain:
Hate
Rape
Suicide
War

Words to use in abundance:
Responsibility
Test
Do

.....

The list is not absolute. It is a work-in-progress:)

I use the word 'Test' in the scienfitic sense... Test and prove. Instead of answering ALL of my kids's questions, I make him test out his ideas for himself. I also use 'test' instead of 'try'.

'Please' is a word I specifcally do not use as it is a word that has no meaning, but is useful:) People use it to be polite and get what they want. I teach DJ to use the word 'please' with other people, as a means to manipulate other people to get what he wants, because it will make others feel good.

Every parent has to gauge what their kids can handle and do. They can handle alot. Just as kids test their boundaries with parents, so must parents test their boundaries of what their kids can handle. These words do not supersede teaching concepts like empathy, compassion, and nuture. There is a great book called "Punished by Rewards" which talks about the negative aspects of rewarding children with stickers, smiley faces, sweets, and praise. It addresses motivation in young children and how to foster self-motivation and self-gratification.

Personalities are predisposed to believing in god. It is hard-wired into our brains to do so.
Because I know that humans have a the biology to believe, does not meant that I foster it in a kid. He will have to make up his own mind about it. He is exposed to bible stories and info about other religions so that he will be well-rounded as an individual and know what other people are talking about. I'm all for exposure and education. When I think about people who believe in a 'higher power' and what it is that they won't give up, I come up with a good feeling, and a place of solace with themselves. These are things I will teach/discuss with my kid as he gets older, without the god or higher being aspect.

Kids have different personality types and learning styles. Knowing these helps alot parenting.

I often think of parenting as a science experiment.:) And the outcome...We'll see...


November 23, 2003	Words Words to avoid using when raising a child: God Should Church Pray Shame Guilt Please Try Hope Luck Nice As in... Shall we try to go to that nice church to pray to god with hope that we should be so lucky as to not feel any shame? Please guilt me into going. Words I did not ever want to explain: Hate Rape Suicide War Words to use in abundance: Responsibility Test Do ..... The list is not absolute. It is a work-in-progress:) I use the word 'Test' in the scienfitic sense... Test and prove. Instead of answering ALL of my kids's questions, I make him test out his ideas for himself. I also use 'test' instead of 'try'. 'Please' is a word I specifcally do not use as it is a word that has no meaning, but is useful:) People use it to be polite and get what they want. I teach DJ to use the word 'please' with other people, as a means to manipulate other people to get what he wants, because it will make others feel good. Every parent has to gauge what their kids can handle and do. They can handle alot. Just as kids test their boundaries with parents, so must parents test their boundaries of what their kids can handle. These words do not supersede teaching concepts like empathy, compassion, and nuture. There is a great book called "Punished by Rewards" which talks about the negative aspects of rewarding children with stickers, smiley faces, sweets, and praise. It addresses motivation in young children and how to foster self-motivation and self-gratification. Personalities are predisposed to believing in god. It is hard-wired into our brains to do so. Because I know that humans have a the biology to believe, does not meant that I foster it in a kid. He will have to make up his own mind about it. He is exposed to bible stories and info about other religions so that he will be well-rounded as an individual and know what other people are talking about. I'm all for exposure and education. When I think about people who believe in a 'higher power' and what it is that they won't give up, I come up with a good feeling, and a place of solace with themselves. These are things I will teach/discuss with my kid as he gets older, without the god or higher being aspect. Kids have different personality types and learning styles. Knowing these helps alot parenting. I often think of parenting as a science experiment.:) And the outcome...We'll see...
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